By Susan M. Orsillo & Lizabeth Roemer
Anxiety is a universal human experience, yet its impact on our lives can vary dramatically. In The Mindful Way Through Anxiety: Break Free from Chronic Worrys and Reclaim Your Life, psychologists Susan M. Orsillo and Lizabeth Roemer offer a transformative approach to dealing with anxiety—not by avoiding or battling it, but by learning to relate to it differently. Drawing from the principles of mindfulness and acceptance-based therapies, this book is both a practical guide and a philosophical reorientation for those seeking relief from chronic worry.
Let’s explore four key concepts from the book that help readers shift from reactivity and struggle to awareness and compassion.
The Cycle of Anxiety: Understanding the Trap
One of the book’s foundational ideas is the concept of the anxiety trap—a self-perpetuating cycle where efforts to control or eliminate anxiety actually make it worse. This cycle often starts with a distressing thought or physical sensation, followed by an internal judgment: “This is bad,” or “I can’t handle this.” The natural response is to try to avoid or suppress these feelings. Unfortunately, this resistance typically intensifies the experience, leading to even more anxiety and self-criticism.
Orsillo and Roemer suggest that this pattern is not only common but also deeply ingrained in how we are taught to approach discomfort. From a young age, many people are conditioned to solve problems by thinking their way out of them. But when it comes to emotional experiences—especially anxiety—trying to think or distract your way to relief often backfires.
The authors propose that the first step toward freedom is recognizing this cycle. When we become aware of how we respond to anxiety, we can begin to change the pattern—not by eradicating anxious feelings, but by altering our relationship to them.
Mindfulness: Meeting Anxiety with Openness
At the heart of the book lies mindfulness, a practice rooted in nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment. Unlike many traditional approaches that encourage avoidance or thought suppression, mindfulness invites individuals to notice anxiety as it is—without trying to change it.
Mindfulness practices help people develop the capacity to observe their thoughts and sensations without becoming entangled in them. Orsillo and Roemer describe this as a shift from “doing” to “being.” In “doing mode,” we are constantly problem-solving and evaluating, often escalating anxiety. In contrast, “being mode” allows us to acknowledge what we are experiencing without resistance.
For example, if someone feels a tightness in their chest or racing thoughts before a presentation, a mindful approach might involve pausing to observe the sensations, labeling them as “anxiety,” and then gently redirecting attention to the breath. Over time, this practice helps create a space between stimulus and reaction, making it easier to respond with care rather than fear.
The book offers a variety of mindfulness exercises, from basic breathing awareness to body scans and mindful walking. These practices aren’t about escaping anxiety but about learning to stay present with it, creating the conditions for genuine change.
Acceptance and Values: Living a Meaningful Life Despite Anxiety
Mindfulness alone is powerful, but Orsillo and Roemer deepen their approach by incorporating acceptance and values clarification—concepts drawn from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Rather than eliminating anxiety, the goal becomes living a rich and meaningful life even in its presence.
Acceptance involves making space for anxiety rather than fighting it. It’s not about resignation but about choosing not to let discomfort dictate our actions. Through acceptance, individuals learn that they can carry anxiety with them while still moving toward what matters most.
This leads to a values-based approach to life. Orsillo and Roemer encourage readers to identify core values—such as creativity, connection, honesty, or growth—and use them as a compass for decision-making. When we act in line with our values, we experience a deeper sense of fulfillment, even when anxiety is present.
For example, a person who deeply values connection might choose to attend a social event despite feeling anxious. The anxiety doesn’t disappear, but it no longer holds the same power. This shift—from avoidance to meaningful action—is one of the most transformative elements of the book.
Practical Tools and Long-Term Integration
While the philosophical insights are profound, The Mindful Way Through Anxiety is also highly practical. The authors offer structured exercises, reflection prompts, and case examples that bring the material to life. Readers are encouraged to integrate mindfulness into daily routines and to approach their own anxious experiences with curiosity and compassion.
Some of the tools presented include:
-
Anchoring in the present through mindful breathing or sensory awareness.
-
Noticing and labeling thoughts without judgment (“I’m having the thought that…”).
-
Practicing self-compassion when anxiety arises.
-
Identifying and committing to values-based actions, even in small, incremental steps.
The book also acknowledges that change takes time. Orsillo and Roemer emphasize patience, suggesting that setbacks are not failures but opportunities for learning. Progress is measured not by the absence of anxiety but by increased flexibility, presence, and alignment with one’s values.
Conclusion: A New Relationship with Anxiety
The Mindful Way Through Anxiety challenges many of the cultural messages we receive about emotional discomfort. Instead of seeing anxiety as something to fix or eliminate, Orsillo and Roemer offer a path to befriend it—to meet it with awareness, acceptance, and even kindness. This shift doesn’t make anxiety disappear overnight, but it does fundamentally change how we experience it.
Ultimately, this book is not about curing anxiety—it’s about reclaiming life from its grip. Through mindfulness and values-based living, readers are invited to cultivate a life that feels grounded, purposeful, and free—not because anxiety is gone, but because it no longer calls the shots. For anyone ready to break the cycle of chronic worry and embrace a new way forward, The Mindful Way Through Anxiety is an invaluable companion.
